A Red-Letter Day

On Tuesday, September 1^st, my wife and I woke up at 3 am for the trip to Denver (64 miles to the north). We have to make an appointment at Denver Health at 5:30 that morning so that Dr. Hyer could perform gender confirmation surgery on me. My surgery started at 7:30 and took 5 hours to complete. I woke from anesthesia with a new vulva and all the component parts.

I'm going to stop for a moment because I want to cover an important subject, that's personal privacy. I am choosing to divulge that I have had "the surgery" of my own free will. I do so for several reasons. First and foremost, I crave the attention. Those of you that know me know that that is not the case. I am sharing because there are people out there that are struggling with being transgender. They find skewed information or even outright lies. When I was very young, I knew that I was different, that something didn't match up, but I didn't have the vocabulary to describe how I felt. It took me well into adulthood to come to the realization what was going on with me. You see, the hardest person to come out to was myself. The difference between me as a child and me as an adult was access to the internet and all of the information it contained. I started off convincing myself that I was a crossdresser. That it was all about the clothes. I knew better, but I couldn't allow myself to believe it. It took me years of counseling and self-reflection to come to terms with who I truly am.

So, back to my original point, just because I volunteer this information does not mean that it is okay to ask other transgender individuals about their surgeries. Nobody has the right to know what is in your pants, and you don't have the right to know what is in someone else's pants. If they want to share that with you, that is totally and entirely up to them.

Back to my surgery, or rather the recovery. I spent Tuesday through Thursday in the hospital; I was released on Thursday afternoon with a packing in my vagina, a foley catheter, and some pain pills. Let's talk about those pain pills, and please remember that this is my experience only. I cannot speak for others going through the procedure. I had a pain pill the day of surgery, while I was in the hospital, I only took acetaminophen, I took my next pain pill the night that I got home, the drive home was torture, 64 miles of road construction. I've only had to take one more since then; I have been making do with alternating acetaminophen and ibuprofen. The pain has been manageable using regular, over the counter medications. Again, this is me, your mileage may vary.

What have I learned so far? When you get home, make sure you have pads, thin maxi pads work best (my wife read that in the documentation and got some for me). I would also recommend some panties that are a size larger than you usually wear because there will be swelling, and it will be significant. Dr. Hyer calls this the "Shark Bite" stage, and boy is she ever right. You are going to be stitched together like a patchwork quilt. While you're in the hospital, make sure you eat. Your body needs the energy to repair itself, but watch what you eat, because going #2 in a bedpan while you're bandaged and stitched up is not fun, and if you're my age, it's embarrassing and humiliating too (not that I would have any idea, mind). When you get home, walk. This keeps things moving and also makes sure that you don't get blood clots (I read that in the paperwork, BTW). If you can bear to look at yourself, get a hand mirror (another thing I have to thank my wife for), it will help you keep track of your healing and also allow you to see trouble spots. Also, be prepared for the swelling; for me, it was significant and very uncomfortable. The swelling is probably a bigger issue for me than the pain. Ice packs help, but the only thing to do is wait for it to go down. One thing I was not prepared for was the mixed messages my genitals were sending me. I keep getting tingling and electrical shocks, all part of the healing process, but disconcerting anyway.

I want to take some time to talk about my hospital stay. Everyone I had contact with at Denver Health has been amazing and supportive. All of the nurses and CNAs that helped me were amazing and made me feel taken care of. Dr. Hyer did a great job, and I feel that her focus was on me and on making sure that when it's all said and done, that I am happy with the result. I cannot express how much I appreciate the staff there.