Awake again, I've had another one of those nights when my brain will not stop. I should actually be out running, but instead I sit in front of my computer and blog, lucky you :)

Our couples counselor pointed out to us (Yes I am married. Yes she knows) that taking all the random thoughts we have and inviting them for tea is a problem. I do this really well, I invite them in, feed and nurture them, give them a nice comfortable place to live where they can spread the toxic fumes. I have entire conversations in my head, the whole "If I had only said this then you would have said that, and I would have been the winner" conversation. These things lead us nowhere, they are not productive in any sense of the imagination and only work to further our own fears and phobias.

So, I have decided to work on evicting them, one by one, it's going to be hard and messy and painful. They've been there so long that they have become a fixture in my mind...

Now I know you're asking yourself, what does this have to do with cross dressing or trangenderism, well, think about it, when it comes time to tell someone, what do you do? I know what I do, I have the entire conversation in my mind, I know every response they are going to give, except that I don't, and in the end I never have the conversation because I've scared myself out of it. This is unfair to the person and toxic to me (Or you). It really comes down to respecting them enough to let them make their own decision, some will accept you, some will reject you. That is their decision.

What most people never recognize is that the person we are every day, and have been for most of our lives isn't changing, but rather is being given the chance to see the light of day. I don't have a split personality, one of the male and the other female, I have one and it is there all the time. So when Vicki is around, I'm still me...

Okay, enough of this early morning rambling...

Hugs and Kisses... Vicki