A long time coming

I was thinking back to one of my previous employers. It was a computer manufacturer and I did tech support for them. The reason this is important to me is that here was the first time I ever met a trans person. Meeting her was not an awaking for me, there were no ah-ha moments or the recognition of a kindred spirit. I was not ready to acknowledge what she represented in my own life, so I did what we all tend to do when we are confronted with things that make us uncomfortable, I marginalized her. It's something that I am not proud of, it wasn't by any overt or direct act on my part, it was the jokes when she wasn't around, we all joined in and laughed. I make no excuse, blame no one but myself for my actions and all these years later I am still embarrassed by those actions. Now don't get the wrong idea, I was by no means the only one cracking wise, but I joined in, I was part of the crowd. She came to work for us in 2000 or 2001 (still terrible with dates), this was a much less tolerant time than we live in now and our generation is one that remembers Uncle Milty, Geraldine, and Bosom Buddies. Where trans folk and cross dressers were subjects of humor. The company we worked for went out of their way to make sure that we were prepared to deal with the person about to join us, we were required to attend diversity training, a very forward thinking concept at the time. A lot of what we were taught at that time is still with me all these years later.

In the years since I have grown as a person and I like to think I am much more accepting than I was then. There is still that other part of me that understands when someone looks at me and feels uncomfortable, because I felt uncomfortable in that same circumstance. Having said that, I will not excuse anyone for being deliberately hurtful,and that includes me. I know that I did not do anything to directly affect this person in her attempt to live her truth, but by my actions on the sidelines I helped to perpetuate the stereo types so prevalent at the time. I can only hope that by living my truth and being honest in my own life that I can sway someone to see the truth of our lives. The only truth that really matters, that we are happy in who we are.

I am happy in who I am... I hope all of you find that happiness in yourselves...

Hugs...

Vicki